Advice for Dads » Teenager

Keep your Teenager Safe By Tracking Their Car

Posted on 08-10-2010 | By: nigel

Tags: Keep, Safe, Teenager, Their, Tracking

Keep your Teenager Safe By Tracking Their Car

We are not living in a totalitarian state, so why would any of us want to track our teenager’s cars? Well it seem that the popularity of fitting GPS vehicle tracking devices to our teenager’s cars is on the rise, sparked by our ever growing fear for the safety of our children.

When your teenage son or daughter first learns to drive, it is an exciting time for them, but not so for us as the parents. Typically most parents find this period particularly stressful due to the increased risk their children face when they start to drive.

A GPS tracking device fitted to a teenager’s vehicle can help reduce the risks they face in a number of ways:

1. Safety – A parent’s biggest fear when their children start to drive is that their child will drive recklessly and put themselves at risk. A young driver is far more likely to take risks on the roads than an experienced driver, and monitoring & logging speed is just one feature of these GPS devices. Statistically teenagers are far more likely to be involved in car accidents than any other sector of the population, due to their lack of driving experience and their lack of awareness of the risks involved with driving a car. When a GPS tracking device is in place, teenagers are far more likely to stick to the speed limits.

2. Cheaper Insurance – One important side-effect of keeping your teenager safer on the road is cheaper car insurance. If they drive safer they are more likely to keep a clean license, avoid accidents and benefit from reduced insurance rates.

3. Addressing Safety – Armed with the data from the GPS readout, a parent can decide what corrective measures to take, or even make the decision to withdraw driving privileges – it won’t make you a popular parent, but it might save your teenager from injuring themselves or their friends.

4. Knowing Where They Are – If your teenager has a breakdown or an accident, you can be notified immediately via the GPS system so that you can get assistance to them as soon as possible.

Most parents install GPS vehicle tracking systems in their teenager’s auto to make sure that their child is abiding by the rules of how they are supposed to drive, where they can and cannot go, and when they can and cannot drive. If you don’t want your teenager to drive on the highway for instance, or they tell you they are going to a certain friend’s house to study, the vehicles location will be logged and it is possible to check.

It might seem to some people that going to these lengths constitute a violation of an individual’s freedom, and to a large extent it does, but the fear about personal safety outweighs these fears for many parents. Certain manufacturers of GPS tracking systems promote fitting the devices covertly, due to the ease of installation and how easy they are to conceal, but just because you have this option, doesn’t make it the right thing to do.

The Author’s website car insurance for teenagers guide features articles, advice about cutting the cost of car insurance, why a young car driver always feel like they are getting a raw deal, and what you’re never told about teenage driver safety

Disciplining a Teenager

Posted on 06-10-2010 | By: nigel

Category : Parenting Tips

Tags: Disciplining, Teenager

Disciplining a Teenager

Well, you can’t really spank them anymore, can you? It’s a little distressing… disciplining a teenager while you are looking up at them. In fact, most teenage boys can simply pick their mothers up and move them out of their way if they so choose. So how does a parent go about instilling strong life lessons in their teenage children and help them grow into wonderful, fulfilled, and responsible adults?

Discipline and punishment, in my book, are two different things. Punishment is about power, exerting power over your child when they have messed up. Punishment implies anger. Discipline is about educating a child, young or old, about their behavior and the impending consequences. We discipline because we want them to grow up and be productive and happy people in the world. Unfortunately, teenagers tend to tune out a lot of the normal parental efforts to discipline and parents often feel that punishment works better because it gets their attention.

Getting your kids to listen to you is not as easy as it used to be. When five minutes in the time out chair was a playtime killer and going to bed ten minutes early was a serious punishment, your kids were much more likely to heed your words and listen intently so they could learn to get themselves out of their predicament. Now they are big and the time out chair is laughable and they often even seem to enjoy the challenge of getting themselves out of their predicaments with their own wits.

In many ways, we can equate disciplining a teenager with manipulating a teenager. They want to be free to do their own thing and to create their life as they see fit. We want them to pitch in around the house, make nice with their sister, and keep their grades up. Because each of these wants is tied in with the other’s actions, we tend to manipulate our kids more than discipline them. This isn’t some horrid parenting sin. Sometimes, it’s the only way to get their attention in order to move into the education portion of discipline.

Kids with cars, eventful social schedules, or serious hobbies are the ones that are most likely to listen up when those things are threatened in the form of discipline. When ood grades mean that they can participate in the sport they are passionate about and gas money is contingent upon keeping up with the daily chores, kids tend to be more cooperative. This is because there is more to manipulate them with. When they are failing to provide the appropriate behavior that we would like to see, we have something to take away from them in order to change their behavior. Like I said, this is often how we help them open up their ears so that the educational portion of discipline can follow.

To gain any useful benefit from the manipulation stage, we have to put forth effort during the secondary discipline stage. Once we have their attention, it is important to talk with them about why they are in their current predicament and how to prevent it in the future. If you shut down their car use for a week due to slipping grades, use that week to discuss how your teen can learn to balance his activities more responsibly so that he doesn’t wind up in the same situation. Discussing why slipping grades are more important than using a car can help him grasp that you are looking beyond his action packed weekend and into his college bound future. Ultimately, you want him to recognize that you didn’t dole out the punishment and discipline just to take their car away. You want him to recognize that you are concerned that he may have lost sight of the fact that his college education is more important than his moment to moment fun.

Discipline is a tricky art form. You have to maintain a position of power in the life of a teenager if you want them to realize that your word counts for anything. We have all witnessed a young child whom has figured out at an early age that his parent doesn’t mean what they say and there really won’t be any serious consequence for their behavior. Perhaps you have witnessed this in a grocery store or other public venue. The child not only refuses to stop the behavior that the parent has corrected, but they will actually escalate the behavior the more the parent tries to correct them. Usually the parent continuously comes up with various threats. The child continues to misbehave because they already know that these are empty threats and that nothing is really going to happen. When that child grows into a teenager (without any type of adjustment to the lack of consequences) that teen will walk all over the parent because there will be no reason to adhere to the rules then, either.

Of course, we don’t want our children to be terrified of us, either. We aren’t looking to brutally beat them with some handy apparatus just because they came home five minutes late. Parents need to have rules, but becoming a drill sergeant in your own home is most likely a bit excessive. Provided that you mean what you say and follow through with action and still be willing (at the appropriate time and place) to listen and talk with your child about their behavior and the consequences, you can foster a nice balance of discipline and growth without being unreasonable.

That sweet balance between tyrant and pushover can take a little trial and error practice. When you are dealing with teenage behavior, intelligent discussion, fair and natural consequences, and the strong ability to stick to your guns is what is most beneficial all the way around. Teenagers can make you want to tear your hair out one minute and melt your heart the next. They can be master manipulators while in the next breath become the brainless wonder-child of the century. Disciplining a teenager requires firm and decisive action on your part and an ear for meaningful and productive conversations that lead to better behavior down the line.

David Beart is the owner of the Professors House. This site contains a wealth of articles on such topics as raising teenagers and marriage advice.

Successful Ways to Communicate With Your Teenager

Posted on 29-09-2010 | By: nigel

Category : Parenting Tips

Tags: Communicate, Successful, Teenager, Ways

Successful Ways to Communicate With Your Teenager

Communication is the single most important aspect when parenting a teenager.

We can give them a sense of compassion, understanding, and support. We can listen to their opinion. We can peacefully discuss a situation.

On the other hand, we can convey to them that we are disappointed and angry about what they did. We can scold them for not doing what we told them to.

The way we respond to, or address, our teenagers will determine if they will come to us for answers and advice the next time.

Your teenager will let you know when he is disappointed. He might even be insulted by the way the discussion is going or how he’s being treated.

He will tell you. Not directly, but with phrases such as:“Whatever you say” or “You just don’t understand” before walking away.

What these phrases really imply:

He thinks he has absolutely no input in matters that concern his daily activities

He feels you are treating him like a child by not giving him a chance to state any of his thoughts on the subject at hand

You are just not listening to him at all

Take a quick inventory of what was said and ask yourself where you cut your teenager off or out – or stopped listening to his side of the story. Comments like these are a big STOP sign.

If you cannot recall with what exactly you turned your teenager off, ask him.

Here is an example:

One day your teenager comes home from school and tells you that one of his friends started to smoke.

You can either tell your son that he better not be smoking, and that if you ever catch him you will punish him one way or another.

Your teenager’s response in this case is going to be something like:”Sure, dad,” and he will turn and walk away.

Now you wonder if he is planning to take up smoking and worry about it. Your teenager is frustrated because you treated him like a child by lecturing instead of listening.

These events will lead to a stressed relationship, constant confrontation, and total frustration for you as well as your teenager.

On the other hand, you could find out what he is thinking and how he sees the situation.

If your teenager approaches you with a story or lets you know about something a friend is doing, you can be assured that they have an opinion about the particular situation.

Seize the opportunity to find out your teenager’s values, thoughts, and opinions. Give your teen the message that you are interested in his opinion and want to hear it.

He will be less hesitant to approach you the next time around, eager to talk about whatever is on his mind, discuss it with you and thus draw on your knowledge.

Before getting angry, consider that your teen may have come to you about the “friend smoking” situation -

to talk about how disappointed he is in his friend

how angry he is with his friend because he knows that smoking is unhealthy

Your teen may want, or more importantly may need you to tell him how proud you are of his choice not to smoke.

What makes Christina different? Where is her passion coming from?

Let’s face it – parenting a teenager is difficult.

Christina Botto has learned the secret to having a great relationship with your teenager. When she and her teenage daughters began having problems, the communication gap and arguments were simply to her.

She knew there had to be a solution to the problems she was having with her teenagers.

Christina Botto set out to find a way to communicate with her daughters that was not threatening and built trust between her and the difficult teens. When she used the information the relationship became more balanced. A mutual respect began to grow between her and her daughters and the difficulties were few.

When other parents noticed the great results of Christina Botto’s plan they began asking her to be a mediator between them and their teens.

Soon Christina realized she would not be able to help all of the parents that need the benefit of her successful strategies. She decided to gather all of her knowledge and write an informative book on the subject. Help Me With My Teenager! A Step-by-Step Guide for Parents that Works is a gold mine of information that shows parents of teenagers what they need to do in order to have a great relationship with their teenager.

The benefit of Christina Botto’s strategies has helped hundreds of parents to repair their relationship with their teenager and bring harmony to their home.

“This guide is a no nonsense “how-to” that is likely to save many relationships. Being reminded to be careful of what to say, how to act, and react, is worth its weight in gold. If you need a little guidance, a friendly whisper in the ear about what works and what doesn’t, Christina Botto is here for you…A Must Read!” Heather Froeschl, BookReview.com

Christina’s website Parenting A Teenager offers free tips for parents of teenagers plus many other tools to help with all aspects of parenting teenagers.

Christina Botto was born in Vienna, Austria. At age 25, Christina moved with her family to the United States.

Christina earned a bachelor of science in business administration from the Hotel and Business Management College in Vienna. She is a member of The National Writers Association and the National Parent Teacher Association.

Successful Ways to Communicate With Your Teenager

Posted on 28-09-2010 | By: nigel

Category : Parenting Tips

Tags: Communicate, Successful, Teenager, Ways

Successful Ways to Communicate With Your Teenager

Communication is the single most important aspect when parenting a teenager.

We can give them a sense of compassion, understanding, and support. We can listen to their opinion. We can peacefully discuss a situation.

On the other hand, we can convey to them that we are disappointed and angry about what they did. We can scold them for not doing what we told them to.

The way we respond to, or address, our teenagers will determine if they will come to us for answers and advice the next time.

Your teenager will let you know when he is disappointed. He might even be insulted by the way the discussion is going or how he’s being treated.

He will tell you. Not directly, but with phrases such as:

“Whatever you say” or “You just don’t understand” before walking away.

What these phrases really imply:

•    He thinks he has absolutely no input in matters that concern his daily activities
•    He feels you are treating him like a child by not giving him a chance to state any of his thoughts on the subject at hand
•    You are just not listening to him at all