The Teenage Self Esteem – Trust, Voice & Helping Hands Is What They Need

We all believe that having a family that is spouse and kids is so wonderful. You start weaving big dreams for your child right from the day he/she is born. But just giving them food & clothing does not make you a good parent. You can spend money on your child endlessly but it is far more important to invest your time & emotions in them.

The children are like an encyclopedia of questions and you must face all their queries carefully else you might crop in some devilish idea in to their li’l but very mysterious minds.

One of the most important aspects of parenting is to build a self esteem in your child. This way, you child would be able to achieve success in regards of life, irrespective of the field they opt to go for. This task becomes utmost difficult when the child reaches the teenage as at this age the kids wish to make all their decisions by themselves but at the same time are most prone to make mistakes.

Here are some indispensable facts that make building self esteem in the teenage a very vulnerable job for the person and the parents as well:

1. While the teenagers want the least of assistance, sometimes the parents tend to forget their child has grown up. Now they wish to learn from their mistakes & experiences, they want to face all their challenges themselves and while they have not become one, they believe themselves to be a ‘MAN’.

2. Actually, adolescence is the most knotty part of an individuals’ life. It is indeed a period of ‘Growing up’ where one has to do a lot of adjustments & learn a lot as well.

3. There is always one stress or the other that you have to face in this period, due to the physical, hormonal and the emotional changes.

4. Accordingly one needs to face the changes in the social interactions they have with ‘n’ number of people around them.

5. As you become aware of the opposite sex, and fall in love and / or experience puppy love, you gather so many diversifications around you, that, at times they indeed become very hard to tackle all together.

6. With the great changes & upheavals, scattered energies & differing emotions, your self-esteem surely becomes too vulnerable to handle well.

Now, we must understand that the process of building one’s self-esteem starts right in one’s childhood and carries on until adulthood. But it has some changing phases. When one is a li’l child it is taken care of by the parents in totality. During adolescence it has to be taken care of by the parents & the guardians, but the ball lies in the court of the teenager himself as they choose their social circle & their behavior pattern in their. The parents & guardians can only give them the lay out as what is wrong & what’s right. And of course, by adulthood one becomes his own boss, whether for good or for the bad.

Hence, undoubtedly adolescence is the last platform where the parents can help you to some extent in building your self esteem. Unfortunately, the outer forces like your social circle & the friends usually play a negative role that your parents have to turn in to positive, provided you are willing to take that help from them.

Here are some tips that would help your kids gain a higher self-esteem at the teenage:

1. Give them some role models.

a. Parents are the child’s primary role models for sure. But we must accept that there comes a time when we, the parents, grow old, and can no longer compete against those younger role models, that the children get influenced with through the rising media of the times.

b. Personalities such as Lindsay Lohan & Hillary Duff then seem to be more believable & attractive for the teenagers.

c. This is the time when the parents must strive to set good example for the child in the related aspects.

d. This way they might not be their child’s only role models but the kids would surely look up to the parents while making their key decisions.

e. In literal terms identify with your children & let them identify with you in the important walks of life.

f. Now the parents should guide their children in selecting the right role models.

g. Help your children in differentiating among the characteristics of the chosen role models, in terms that the kids should emulate those traits or they should not.

h. Help them understand the fact that role models are just meant to inspire, they should not copy all their actions & deeds blindly.

2. Have trust in your teenagers.

a. Your trust is perhaps one precious gift you can give to your child.

b. Once you prove to them that you believe in their abilities, they would surely work further to strengthen them all the more.

c. You must respect their individuality and show it to them in the right way, else they might loose respect for you as well.

d. Help them achieve some goals of their lives not for your status but for their individuality and let them feel good about it.

e. After all when you do not trust their actions & decisions, how can you ever expect them to be confident or developing their talents & achieve greatness!

f. Though trust at times can be seen as very complicated issue. As most parents who trust their children but yet as good parents try to guide their kids, usually land up in an unbalanced equation. It is surely not an easy task for the parents to understand that as too many restrictions can be harmful to their & the kids relationships, utmost lax might also prove hazardous in a long run.

3. Give your teenager their own voice.

a. Most of the times we take things for granted and do not give our teenagers a chance to explain their side of the story.

b. This is a certainly wrong practice.

c. At times, being human beings even the parents can be wrong.

d. Do not be judgmental and merely imposing your sanctions on the child.

e. It is indeed very essential to let your teenager state their case & explain their actions.

f. Your judgments can be made even after that, and surely then they would be more rational & acceptable to the child.

g. This kind of practice helps your child develop their own view & aspect of the situation.

h. Having their voice, helps them become quick & rational decision makers in a long run.

i. It makes the individual more expressive & clear about their thoughts & views.

j. This way the child is able to trust his/her own instincts and hence, develop a high level of self-esteem.

Abhishek is a Self-Development expert and he has got some great Self-Esteem Boosting Secrets up his sleeves! Download his FREE 52 Pages Ebook, “How To Boost Your Self-esteem” from his website http://www.Positive-You.com/668/index.htm . Only limited Free Copies available.