Dating for parents, tips for single mums wanting to date again

A city, full of 1000′s of people you don’t know, just as lonely as a desert. Well to me it’s a little like that being a single mum, so busy looking after the kids and yes loving them, but still craving a little attention yourself. It’s probably why so many single mum’s look online for dating for parents, but this so often leads to bad and destructive relationships. The main problem is always that mum’s are so convinced that the kids pose a problem that they will dive into a relationship with the first man that shows an interest. But with a little help and guidance things can be so much better.

Rule number one – It’s a complete myth that no man is willing to date a mum with kids still at home. There are 1000′s of great men out there who are fine with you having kids, and a hell of a lot of them have kids themselves and so fully know what it’s like. Men who will see you for the woman you are, before the fact that you also come with kids. Single parents, both men and women, are common these days, relationships do break down and people accept this, no longer is there any stigma with being a single parent.

Rule number two – take onboard rule number one and get a little of that sassy confidence back! When we are confident we will always become a harder and more worthwhile catch. Men will always go out of there way to run after and try to impress confident girls, girls who are keen to please always lack appeal to them. The first thing you do is get your girlfriends around, throw on your best clothes and make up, start to enjoy life again. I know with the kids around your always worn out, but trust me just the fact of creating some ‘me time’ and putting on your make up will start to do wonders for your confidence. Enjoying time with the girls is going to be fun and at the same time remind you that you are a popular and fun person to be with!

Rule number three – The kids and you are a unit and so never feel ashamed that they will always come first in your life. If you can’t make a date, or need to finish a date early to see to the children, always put them first. Yes I know a lot of you reading this will think that this is a perfect way to annoy a man, well I say that in fact it’s the perfect way to test him. If he gets angry and stroppy, well it’s hardly going to improve with time is it? But if he understands and is happy to work around the kids then you’ve got a great indicator of what this man is likely to be like in the long run.

And now the last rule – never forget that the kids already have a dad, OK the fact your dating again shows us all that the past relationship is dead, but trust me allowing the new man in your life to act like a ‘new’ dad is only going to course trouble. All you will gain from this is a very upset ‘real’ father and very possibly angry and confused children. A far better way forward is for your kids to slowly get to know your new man and call him by his first name, this way the kids aren’t confused, and their father is happy, and so continues to baby sit for you!

Remember there really are men out there who will always see you as you, not just a single mum. Make time everyday just for you, see your girlfriends and become that confident girl again. Always remember you and the children are a family, and try to always keep their dad on side. Do this and you’ll be surprised at just how rewarding dating for parents can be!

Brent Meheux is the owner of the website UK Direct Dating and is a contributor to a number of other online dating advice websites. He has worked in the industry for over 15 years, writing for and designing websites on a number of subjects. He lives in Devon with his wife and 2 stepchildren

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