Did someone say first date? Daddy beware! Don’t take out the shot gun just yet. Wait for a few days before you pat your son on the back and when you find that condom in his possession. The self discovery is almost done. At this stage, sexuality for most kids is almost fully defined. Some children are still clueless as to what that is but soon enough they will know. Society loves to educate our children for us. Junior high is a time of societal influence and peer pressure. Where does daddy come in all this?
Daddy will want but should wait to show his authority here. You should be firm in setting curfews and giving advice. Firmness is required but you must be open to discussion and change. That little girl who would run to you with or for everything no longer does that. She may even be closer to mom now but nonetheless you must also remind her that you are a part of the family and as such you are still interested in her life. She may only turn to you for advice on soccer or softball and expect you to be at her matches while mom may the one who knows about the crush she has on her classmate. Talking about her period with you may definitely be a no-no. you can overcome this by taking her to the store with you when you are purchasing sanitary items for her mother so she will come to accept that if her dad does this for her mother then it is ok for him to do it for her. She will soon come around to sharing about the boy in her class. Wait or ask if it is taking too long but be gentle in your responses.
I am of the opinion that boys will be boys and these are the very boys who grow up to be dads. It is still a man’s place to be proud of the fact that his son has a girl. I suppose he is even prouder when his son can be responsible enough to have sex and protect himself from harm. But at 14, is it really ok for sons to be sexually involved? Dads, what will you do here? Kids probably don’t need to hear the ‘sex talk’ at home as it is now taught in schools but the talk should still be given at home so that it is clear on what is acceptable in your household versus what goes on in the wider society including schools. Dads, talk to your sons about the role they play when they become sexually active. Tell them where you stand on this issue. Don’t be too quick to judge but ask and work with what they tell you until you prove otherwise.
Fathers are at the core of a teenager’s development. Your little girl still needs to sit on your lap and your son will need your approval. Be ready to give it and as always be supportive and patient.
