It can be hard for anyone if their parents decide to split up, however, some people will react worse to the situation than others. Usually, the way in which children or teenagers will deal with this depends on their age at the time in which their parents are splitting up. A lot of teenagers will often cope quite badly if their parents break up and it isn’t uncommon for teenagers to turn to drugs and violence if this happens to them, however, although it is a very hard time, you can deal with it and you might find that it will even make you a better person.

My parents decided to split up when I was around 8 years old and at the time it was a very hard thing to deal with. I am now 18 years old and although it was around 10 years ago when my parents actually split up, I still feel as though it has had a huge effect on my life and the person that I have turned out to be. At the time when this happened I coped quite badly and I was upset for quite a few months after it had happened. Not only was I upset but my school work also suffered as I found myself thinking about what had happened a lot and also missed quite a few days of school.

Coping with separated parents as a teenager is quite hard as, if you are like me, then you will have no real father figure in your life. This means that you will have to figure a lot of things out for yourself during your teenage years and it really makes a difference not having that father figure in your life. Even if it’s just having someone there to watch TV with or go out and have a game of football, you will really notice that it is much harder once they are not in your life.

The best way to cope with having separated parents can often be to focus on the good parts of it. For example, if you are still in contact with your father like a lot of people are, including myself, then it means that you get two lots of birthday and Christmas presents! Although this is little consolation to the hard situation that you are in, at least it is something.

One thing that I have really noticed now that I have grown up a lot and am technically an adult is that I am much more determined to do well for myself. I really don’t think that I would be this determined if my parents had still been together and I guess this is a positive thing. It has also made me much more determined to make my relationships last as long as possible which I guess is also a positive thing.

The thing to realise is that although it is a difficult thing to deal with, especially throughout your teenage years when you don’t have that father figure, is that it will probably completely change the sort of person you are. The thing to make sure of, is that it changes the kind of person you are for the better.

Written by Justin Harrison

One of the worse things for a father to go through is a divorce. This can become a heavy weight on the relationship between you and your children. This probably will not be an issue if you are the one that gets custody of the children; however, if the mother is the one that gets custody of the children, be prepared to have a tough time keeping up with your children. In this day and age, though, it is far easier for a divorced father to keep in touch with their kids than it was many years ago.

One thing that is vital for the father to keep in mind is that they divorced the mother, not the children. It is important to always remember this fact. Just because the relationship with the wife and mother failed to work out does not mean that your children have to suffer a lack of their father in their lives from that point forward. Also, while you may be holding feelings of resentment and bitterness towards your ex-wife, do not try to resort to sending messages only through the children. They will be able to tell what you are holding in and this may cause then to feel they must divide loyalties between you and their mother.

With those pointers in mind, you can still maintain healthy communications with your children easily. The hassles of long distance phone calls, high rates and incompatible time zones are nothing to worry about thanks to the Internet. The Internet and its tools are a great way to keep in touch with your children after a divorce. For example, you can try instant messaging programs that let you view conversations in real time. MSN, AOL, and Yahoo all have instant messaging programs you can use. If you and your children have a headset, you can use an Internet programs that let you talk over the web for free. Also, if you have webcams, you can your children can actually view each other as you have a conversation. The webcam method is more effective for younger children, as they want to actually see their father a lot more often and love the constant contact. The father can even record themselves telling stories for their younger children to play back any time they want.

Divorce with your wife and strained relationships and communications with the children can be one of the most horrible experiences a husband and father can ever go through. However, the father must never stop loving his children, and  he should not take out the anger from the divorce out on the children. Thanks to the Internet and all of the wonderful tools it provides, it is now easier than ever for a distant father to keep in touch with his beloved children. The children will appreciate being able to stay in touch with their father, and both father and children can continue to keep and grow their bond with each other.