It is no secret that kids in college are just that- kids in college. For many kids this is a life-changing experience. Most of them are away from home and are experiencing freedom for the first time. They want to be able to stand on their own but know that mom or dad will drive for hours to come visit them or simply that they can return home for the weekend. So dad and mom do have a special role to play. Is dad’s role any different from mom’s role? I am not sure about that but what I will suggest to dad are the following;

1. Be proud. Dad is always the last to say how proud he is of his children’s accomplishments. Being in college is a feat unattained by many so when your son or daughter goes off to college, stop complaining about the cost and how much you are sacrificing for them. First be proud and then let them understand that it is a pleasure to watch them grow to this point.
2. Be generous. They are not kids anymore and so you can’t expect them to get by on a $5 a day allowance. Be aware too of the fact that you need to teach them money management skills that they will use throughout their lives. It is not always good to remind or inform them of how much things cost when you were in college. For some kids, this may be offensive; for others, it might be a lesson worth learning.
3. Be willing to let go. It is ok to want to hold on to your children but at this age they want to let go of you, at least to some extent. What kind of dad would you be if you were not willing to give them a chance to grow and make some mistakes on their own? It is ok if you want to stop by and check up on them but you can do so secretly (which you never ever tell) or you can call and arrange an update lunch with your child.
4. Expect the unexpected. Purple hair, body piercing and tattoos are never out of style. Friends of questionable characters and experimental sexualities will accompany your child home for Christmas or summer break. Be ready to face these issues head on and while you are facing the issues remember that they are adults. Some rules do not apply and so be very careful in how you deal with some issues if you want to maintain a close relationship with your child.

As children go off to college some parents may see this as a golden opportunity to rid themselves of responsibilities. This may not be the case as the law now makes it a parent’s responsibility to care for and support their children as long as they are in school, up to a certain age. Dad, this means you are not quite off the hook yet. Your child will need your love and support but you just have to be careful how much and when you give. Enjoy.