Dads do not feel like a dad while they watch their wives or girlfriends swell with a child/ children. They feel the first connection to their offspring the moment they see them pop out of mommy or the first time they touch them. A new born is simply a miracle. When a dad hold his new born for the first time he feels empowered to protect them forever. Dare I say especially if it is a baby girl?

The first thing that dads do and it is something that remains throughout the life of their offspring is look. They stare longingly and incredibly long at kids. I say this because every picture I have of my daughter’s father his head is held down. I had to beg him to look at me- the mother- trying to get a picture of him holding his daughter while looking ‘dotingly ’at her mom.

Doting dads are present among all races, creed and breeds. It is important that dads make a connection with their newborns as soon as mommy. Yes, a nursing mom’s connection is undeniable and effortless but dads try the following if you want to connect, stay connected and be loved and respected like mommy as your baby grows. As dads you should:

1. Take any opportunity to clean or bathe your newborn- this is important as it creates a chance to feel the softness of the baby and for the baby to know your touch which is quite different from mommy’s. Be gentle but be unique in your bathing pattern. Watch mom and maybe try to do something a little different.
2. Talk to your baby- the baby needs to hear your voice. Your newborn must be able to not only hear it but associate it with the most significant male that will be in his/her life. Have a special way to greet your newborn that is distinctly yours.
3. Dad must feed newborns too- It is important that the other provider of nourishment be the dad. Moms get the nature way: dads get the nurture way. The baby’s first introduction to bottles, spoons or cups should come from the dad. This gives dad a special place in the child’s needs and so cements his position as a caregiver.
4. Dads should also welcome alone time- this will encourage dependency. As dads, you should not only help out when mom is in the kitchen. The child needs to know that when he/she cries it may be either parent who will come to answer the call.
5. Dads should keep their own records and photo album- you will see the purpose of this later. It is not sufficient for the dad to be taking the pictures and mom writing the notes. Children will later connect with dads if they see that dad was a doting dad from the very beginning- just like mom.

Dads just need to be present so that the child grows and knows that love, security and care exist on his part too.